they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
