apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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