i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
