Yo dont text me then not text me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
