There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
