It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
