Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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