he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
