Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
