I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
