It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
