so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
