Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize