This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
