Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
