We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
