And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
