he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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