I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
