I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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