youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
