we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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