His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Terrible idea I love it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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