I bet he comes in French.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I need water and some morals
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
