Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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