No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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