I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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