i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
