i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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