Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize