I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
