How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
