I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
