im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
