Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
