She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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