So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
