I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
