Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
