I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
