An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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