I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
