wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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