4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sry I called you an 8
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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