morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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