you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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