i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
