Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
