i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
