Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
