you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
