i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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