I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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