I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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