Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
