Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
