i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize