we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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