my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
