I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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