It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize