Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
