there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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