After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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