Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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