did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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