As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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