im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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