the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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